Bare to the Inexhaustible
by SMYGO4EVA
Summary: Oneshot. Hints of Mai/Serenity and slight Joey/Mai. For the first time in forever, she understood. Takes place after Waking the Dragons.


Bare to the Inexhaustible  
By SMYGO4EVA

Mai didn't know why she was there.

Or she did, really, if she was honest. She always remembered that guy from the group quoting someone, saying _all people are true masochists_ _at heart_, and she understood that.

She understood it on a level that kind of scared her, actually, and that was why, when Serenity called her, asked to meet, she agreed.

She deserved this, she knew. She deserved to feel this bad, after everything she's done, betraying her friends, betraying Joey, and almost losing her soul for a second time, what she had put everyone through.

There was a comfort in it, in humiliation, knowing you couldn't go any lower, have people think any worse of you.

It was easy, in a sick way.

Serenity showed up with coffee, and said "Let's take a walk," and Mai nodded in agreement.

The park is green and restful, trees moving gently in the breeze, and the gates were far away enough that there was some illusion of privacy.

"I just want to say," Serenity started, and Mai braced herself, ready for any verbal wounds to reopen.

"I just want to say," The auburn haired girl continued, "that I'm sorry."

Mai turned, stared at her. "What for?" she asked, the surprise genuine. She was the one who usually apologizes, the one who was always at fault.

"For not being there when you were down," Serenity replied, her voice tinged with regret, "I was with my mother, helping her out with things, and I wasn't there when you needed someone. I'm so sorry."

"No," Mai started, "I mean, I understand. The things I've done..." She felt her voice fade away as the memories flooded her mind, and she shook her head. "The things I did."

"But that's all in the past, right?" Serenity took a sip of her coffee. "I believe," she said, "in second chances. I believe in them."

"Maybe I don't deserve a second chance," The blonde duelist murmured, looking at the ground.

"Oh come on," Serenity retorted. "Anyone can see you're trying to change your life, and Joey knows that for sure." She nodded, like there's no doubt. "I admire that," she says. "I admire you."

"Yeah, I'm sure everyone says that." Mai tried not to sound bitter. "I just..." She stopped, squeezing her eyes shut for a second, wishing for blankness, darkness, wishing for the world to disappear.

She took a breath, and steadied herself. "I say all the right things," she uttered, the words rushing out like a waterfall, "I try to a great duelist, to be the best, and to always win. With joining the darkness, I felt that I could be the best, but I almost lost myself because of it, because of what I have done..."

She paused, because she had no idea why she's saying this right now, to Serenity, of all people, but then maybe it was the kind of thing you can only say to someone who was there when you were lost, someone who you can pretend doesn't care.

"I'm lost," she stated, softly. "I don't know what I'm doing and I'm so lost."

And Serenity didn't reply, not yet, but she took Mai's hand and held it tight, squeezing hard enough to make Mai look up, look her right in the eyes.

"We all feel that way, feeling that we just can't win anything. We are all lost," Serenity responded. "All of us." Her voice was firm, more certain than anything Mai had heard in a long, long time.

"All you can do," she said, "…is keep holding on. Find someone you trust and you hold on."

"I..." Mai started, because it's easy to say, but...

"No," Serenity replied, resolute and steady. "No. You're going to be okay."

"I wish I could believe that," Mai uttered, defeated, feeling small and ashamed.

"You don't have to," Serenity told her. "We'll believe it for you. Joey will believe it for you; _I _will believe it for you, it's more than enough."

She gripped Mai's hand, pressed it to her chest, just above her breast, her heart, and they walked on, matching each other's stride.

_One step at a time_, Mai told herself, and for the first time, the words weren't empty.

For the first time in forever, she understood.

_**(A/N: This was a hard one to write, as I could relate to Mai's sense of helplessness in the Waking the Dragons arc, and after that arc, I felt that Serenity could be there to help her just like in Battle City. And I still cannot believe it's been seven years now since I have started writing fan fiction, and it is always a learning experience. I want to say thank you all so much to those who have stuck with me during the good times and the bad, and to a new year!) **_


End file.
